Just desserts

Ok so I did manage to for once do the "right" thing at least I think so anyhow. I think I"m finally over STBXW as I wasn't even really tempted a bit to go back down that path. Nice to finally put that to rest now if we can get the damn divorce papers signed before one of her alternate personalities throws a wrench in the works I can sleep a bit better.

I've stop talking to Tracy for the most part, she still texts me now and again or sends an IM. I should probalby in the spirit of continuing down the healthy/honest path just let her know that things probably are not going anywhere. She's too young, too far away, and there just isn't enough there between us to warrant pursuing it much further.

Mary on the other hand...well over the past 5 days I think we've somehow managed to spend nearly every waking moment either on the phone or texting each other. Yeah I know like I'm some damn teenager or something, but I've enjoyed every second of it. There in lies the problem. We went out for lunch on Sunday (our first face to face) and it went really well. Hell I was even stone sober and managed to keep up some great conversation and we got along really well. The more I know the more I like and she seems to feel the same way.

Here's the problem though, I've got an STD. Shocking coming from a guy with such fine moral fiber I know. I don't know where I got it or from who but I've had it for at least ten years that I'm aware of. It's not particluarly harmful to males but can lead to cervical cancer for women. From most of what I've read over the years it's a very common one with some estimates saying as high as 80% of sexually active people have it. It's also not one you can use any sort of protection to prevent either.

But what if she doesn't, I'd think that would pretty much end any type of relationship we could have right then and there. If she has it already then great, no worries life goes on and I can continue to enjoy the time with her and see where it leads. But if she doesn't I'm very concerned about her reaction, and it would suck very large very sweaty donkey balls if it went down that way.

We have our second date tonight and I plan to tell her as soon as we're together. I'm dying to just tell her now so if it does go badly I can get that out of the way and dealt with, but I do feel it's really something I must do in person. So yeah tonight could be a great time or I could be back at square one with my newfound lovelife (or lack there of) and missed out on what by all appearances would be a great woman.

I'm nervous as I'm not really sure if karma is done taking it's turn on me or if I'm finally back even yet. Could be setting me up for one last hurrah before it decides the scores have been settled, or it could be I've finally done enough to break even and I can get a shot at something good.

I'll be sure and let ya know what happens but cross your fingers and toes for me ;)

P.S. just to increase the pressure I went ahead and ended things with Tracy too, no sense in having a backup plan. It went far better than I thought but I still felt like a jerk.