Rap sheet

I’m a criminal, not the blood thirsty hard core type but I’ve certainly had my fair share of run ins with Johnny Law. So I figured why not share my rap sheet with ya.

1986 vandalism, trespassing- my first time being locked up at the tender age of 13. We were skate boarding in our neighborhood pool that had been drained for the winter. Apparently the homeowner’s association wanted to teach us a lesson.

1988 trespassing- this go round we were playing paintball in an abandoned house in my neighborhood. Again homeowner’s association felt it necessary to lock us up for this.

1989 Minor in possession of alcohol- we were out like most weekend nights just cruising around drinking looking for something to do. 10-15 cars pulled into a park to watch a fight and mine was the only car that got stopped. They found one beer under my car seat.

1989 shoplifting- we had a good scam going, we’d steal small high value items from one mall and then return them at anther nearby mall. Worked great for a good while until I got pinched at Sears. Funny side note the security officer and cop that got me ended up being co-workers of mine many years later when I took a security job at the Jones Store Co.

1990 speeding- first speeding ticket ever, on the way home from getting my tattoo…which I needed a fake ID to get since I was only 16.

1991 public intoxication, minor in possession of alcohol- huge field party behind one of my buddy’s houses. Several schools showed up and a riot broke out, while trying to corral my friends back into my car we ended up being the last ones left (aside from those getting medical attention) so the cops got us.

1991 Vandalism, Minor in possession- had an all night party at my friend’s house then decided at 1am we should drive around and try and tear down basketball goals (goal rippin’). After tearing one down the homeowner chased us and got our license plate number. Cops caught up shortly there after and actually fingerprinted the beer can I had left in his driveway.

1996 speeding- On the way back from spring break in Mexico. We drove from Warrensburg MO to Nuevo Laredo Texas in a huge purple van (aka the Grimace mobile). There was another stop and search by the border patrol but amazingly no one was arrested despite all of the contraband we were carrying.

1996 driving while intoxicated, resisting arrest, attempted flight, careless and imprudent driving, speeding. This lil event has an entire blog post dedicated to it J

1998 driving while intoxicated- my second and last DWI. I had drank 4-5 beers at my apartment and then was headed to my Mom’s. Cop pulled me over for a warrant for an unpaid parking ticket, which I had never gotten but my roommate did and neglected to pay it or tell me.

2002 possession of marijuana- float trip with my friends, neighbors, and family. Probably the most embarrassing to be sure but I wasn’t cuffed and stuffed merely ticketed which was nice. And as a bonus everyone felt so bad for me afterwards that all the chics showed me their boobs J

2006 speeding- Going through the toll gate on the way to Manhattan. I had just returned from a trip to the Bahamas and had left my license etc. in my luggage at home. Because of that I got cuffed and got to stand on the side of the toll booth for a good bit while every drove past and gawked…it was great.

So there ya go, I told you I was a hard core criminal. Honestly a lot of those were just being in the wrong place at the wrong time or some jerk off wanting to make an example out of someone, which I guess I’m a good target for. Anyhow kids don’t do drugs, stay in school, and wash your hands after you poop!